THE ‘QUÉ SERÁ, SERÁ ERA’—That’s what I call it.
This is the current stage I live in. As I sit outside, and reflect on where I am today, I realize how some things never change. How I’ve always been me—kept the same goals and standards—and without a doubt, matured into the person that I am today.
As I continue to mold into the person I want to be, I’ve noticed that my mentality on certain things however, have changed.
I’ve gotten to a point in my life where I realize I no longer have the kind of tolerance I once did.
For one, I don’t have the time or the patience to engage in small talk, to settle for the mediocre, to be average, or to surround myself with what’s stagnant. I don’t want half-sies or in-between-ers, I don’t do “maybe’s,” and the idea of anything that’s an “almost but not quite” terrifies me.
I don’t care to stress about the unnecessary little day-to-day things that will mean absolutely nothing to me in the long run. Life will happen and it will unfold the way it is supposed to. If things didn’t work out the way I wanted them to, there’s always a reason and there’s always a lesson to be learned. It doesn’t mean that the frustration (and perhaps even, depending on the situation, the hurt) will cease to exist, but as time goes on you become more and more conscious about what truly matters to you.
I no longer have the will power, the desire if you will, to neither please others nor explain myself. I live my life according to my own standards. I plan and pre-plan and map out what I think my future will look like (regardless of how much others mock me for this), even though I know it might not. Why? Because I like to stay organized, because I enjoy knowing what’s next, and I like to be prepared. That’s always been me and that will always, most likely, continue to be me. And I’m ok with that.
I don’t believe in “going with the flow.” I’ve tried it and don’t care for it. I don’t believe in living nonchalantly and pretending like things don’t matter when they do. I’m the type of person that feels deeply. Even when it doesn’t directly concern me, I feel it and empathize as if I were the one being affected by it all.
I don’t care for side distractions or petty bullshit because at the end of the day, I have a common goal I’m working toward and that’s being happy—genuinely, consistently, unexplainably happy. With the career I end up with, with new relationships I foster and the ones that remain strong. I don’t just want to be content, that doesn’t appeal to me and that sure as heck does not motivate me to better myself in any way.
I say what I want and I’m ok with being unapologetic about it. And in all honesty, I live with zero regrets. I’ve realized that I have a lot to say and I’d rather say too much than never to say what I need to say. I’m not standoffish or think that by stating things, everyone surrounding me will magically agree.
At the end of the day, I’m a firm believer that those who care to listen will, and those who don’t, won’t.
And that’s where I’m at~